The next time you renew your license, you may be required to take written and behind-the-wheel driving tests rather than mail a form. If this is the case, don't panic or go into denial! Take some steps to get prepared. That way, you'll go into the test knowledgeable and confident. And remember, preparing for a driving test isn't just about passing—it's about ensuring your safety and the safety of others. It's worth the time to plan thoughtfully.
Check the DMV website to understand any age-related requirements that may apply to you. You might note potential assessments related to vision or cognition, and limits on night driving. Give yourself time to address any challenges that crop up. Check on your vision. Schedule an eye exam. If new glasses are needed, allow yourself a period of adjustment. If cataracts are an issue, surgery can greatly improve vision, but appointments can take weeks or months to secure. Get on the doctor's schedule now! Study online for the written exam. Traffic laws evolve and are specific to city and state. You already know a lot, but details on the test can trip up even the most competent drivers. Online study courses cover essentials such as current speed limits within different zones, parking distances, and right-of-way rules. They'll help you brush up on computerized test taking, too. Take a refresher course. AARP and AAA offer mature driver courses to update your skills and ensure you know how to use the newer vehicle technologies. Completing one may even earn you an insurance discount! For a more personalized approach, hire a professional driving instructor for a private coaching lesson. Adapt to physical and mobility challenges. Do you have physical limitations, such as poor range of motion in your neck? Consider consulting an occupational therapist to identify useful strategies. You might learn how to adjust your driving habits or adapt your vehicle. Simple modifications, such as pedal extenders or steering wheel grips, can enhance comfort and control. Talk with your doctor if reaction time or mobility is a concern. Beyond getting your license renewed now, likely there will come a time when you are no longer driving. While you may have family and friends to help, look now at the public transportation, rideshare services, and community programs that might serve you in the future. Need help preparing for the changes of aging? Give us a call at 203-826-9206.
0 Comments
Looking for a way to connect with far-flung family? Consider a multigenerational trip. It's a fun way to break from routine and deepen bonds by having new experiences together. Careful planning is the key to success when you're mixing different ages, interests, and dynamics. Give yourself plenty of time to put it all together. Here are some tips from seasoned family travelers:
Initiating. Identify your primary goal: adventure, relaxation, cultural enrichment? Do you hope to start an annual tradition, such as a beach rental, camping, or a cruise? Or is there a significant birthday to celebrate at a special location? Depending on ages, you might consider a bigger, bucket-list goal, such as an international journey. Planning. If you're not a natural organizer, find out who in your family is. It's a big job. Ideally, have one person in charge of the big picture, but get input and ideas from everyone. Shared calendars and survey tools can be useful for gathering information in one place. Or consider working with a travel agent or private tour guide who can do much of the legwork. Lodging. Where to stay will depend on group size, ages, and dynamics—and your budget! Pick destinations and lodging that will accommodate each generation's needs. Consider mobility and dietary preferences, too. Vacation homes let everyone stay together while offering personal space for rest and privacy (but require cooking and housekeeping). All-inclusive resorts provide convenience and often activities for all ages. For larger groups, properties with separate cottages or suites add privacy and flexibility. If there is a family member with cognitive impairment, it's especially important to ensure they have ready access to a calm space. Activities. Scout out ahead of time activities for the different ages and stages of family members. For little ones, perhaps beach or pool time. Maybe zipline or paddleboard for teens and hiking for others. Some family members may desire more relaxed options, such as a cultural tour or museum visit. Also look for group activities such as a boat ride or miniature golf. Other possibilities include cooking together (heirloom recipes?), campfires for telling family stories, and game nights. Memories. Don't forget to capture the moments! Put someone in charge of ensuring photos are taken during specific events and gathering them up for a memory book. Multigenerational travel is more than a trip. It's a chance to celebrate loved ones and create memories that last a lifetime. With thoughtful and shared planning and a focus on connection, your adventure will be truly unforgettable—for all the right reasons! Want to live life to the fullest as you age? Give us a call at 203-826-9206. Sleep apnea isn't just about snoring or getting up tired. It's about your brain waking you over and over again through the night to get you to breathe. Not only do you miss out on restorative sleep, but the multiple interruptions in breathing also put extra strain on your heart. That puts you at risk of high blood pressure, heart attack, or stroke. And the poor sleep may cause fatigue, fuzzy memory, poor concentration, and feelings of depression. Luckily, there are many options for treatment to effectively manage this condition.
There are three main types of sleep apnea. With all types, your body reflexively awakens you just enough to get you breathing again, but this disturbs your sleep cycle.
Common risk factors. Being age sixty-plus. Carrying extra weight, which can narrow your airway. Being male, a smoker, drinking heavily, or having heart disease or nasal congestion increases your chances significantly. Also, use of opioids, tranquilizers, or sleeping pills. Getting a diagnosis. If you think you might have sleep apnea, talk to your doctor about your symptoms. Your doctor may ask you to do a sleep study, either at a clinic or at home. These tests measure your breathing patterns and oxygen levels to confirm the diagnosis. Questions to ask. If you are diagnosed with sleep apnea, get detailed information. Ask your doctor: What type of sleep apnea do I have? What types of treatment are possible? Which would suit me best? Is there a specialist who can help me through the next steps? Top treatments
Need help navigating the changes of aging? Call the experts at 203-826-9206. Do you dream about simplifying your life? Wish you could spend less time on to-dos and more time engaged in new interests? An independent living community might represent that dream come true. Consider these perks: home maintenance and landscaping cared for, meals prepared, and plentiful opportunities for socializing.
Why choose independent living? Many people move to independent living to downsize from a now-too-large home, or to relocate to a quieter neighborhood and do less driving. Some people seek relief from decades of cooking and cleaning. Another big draw is having a built-in community and activities, from book clubs to seminars to fitness centers. Life is more predictable, too, with a contract that specifies your all-inclusive monthly outlay. How to evaluate one community versus another Perhaps you've narrowed the field to a few options in the same area. But which would be the best fit for you? Compare services side by side. Here's what to consider:
Need help planning your next move? Call the experts in aging at 203-826-9206. Taking care of your financial future means more than just meeting with an investment advisor. What if the unexpected happens? For example, you get into an accident: How will you make sure your bills are paid and your assets protected? That's where a "financial power of attorney" comes in.
A financial power of attorney is a legal document that you prepare to authorize someone to handle financial transactions on your behalf. This person is called your "agent" or "proxy," though sometimes they are also referred to as your "power of attorney." As the principal, you decide what powers that person may have. Sometimes, the duties are limited to a particular transaction, such as closing a real estate deal. Most often, the document is written broadly, to allow your agent to pay your bills or manage your portfolio ongoingly. Make sure your document specifies the power of attorney as "durable." Otherwise, it may automatically end if you become cognitively or otherwise incapacitated. How to choose a financial power of attorney Legally, your agent must be of sound mind and over age eighteen years. From there, choosing is up to you. Here are some things to consider when deciding:
It's wise to name a backup person or two who can assume this role if your primary choice is not available. The individual(s) you name do not have to be family members. There are also professionals who can serve in this role. No matter what, consult with an estate-planning attorney at the beginning of your decision-making process to make sure you understand the options and cover all your bases. Need help finding an estate-planning attorney? Consult the experts in aging well at 203-826-9206. Making wise decisions is more than just being smart. It also comprises the qualities of flexibility, calm, selflessness, and social insight. Difficult to describe, but you know it when you see it.
And who doesn't want to be wiser? Wisdom allows us to solve complicated problems in a way that leads to gracious outcomes. It reduces stress and builds positive relationships and esteem. Contrary to what many assume, wisdom doesn't come automatically with age, although circumstances of aging can lead you there. Here are some tips to cultivate wisdom beyond the school of hard knocks:
Do you value wisdom and experience? We are the experts in aging well. Give us a call at 203-826-9206. Multigenerational housing is a growing trend in the United States and perhaps something you're considering. On the plus side, there's increased time for bonding and for caring for elders or children as needed, as well as improved finances from sharing expenses. And there is peace of mind knowing you are surrounded by family.
But there are disadvantages. Less privacy. More noise. Dissimilar routines. And more people generally leads to more housework (although that may be shared). Most multigenerational households also involve living with an in-law, not always an easy relationship. So, lots of change and likelihood of stress. And then there's the potential jealousy or concern of your other children, especially if finances seem to favor the child you are living with. What seems to promote success?
Looking for alternative living arrangements? Call the experts in aging at 203-826-9206. People over age 65 exhibit a vast range of abilities both mental and physical. Unfortunately, ageism (the negative stereotyping of older adults) links advancing years with decline in a manner that disregards individual capability. From degrading birthday cards to discrimination in the workplace, 82% of older adults report experiencing ageism in their everyday life.
Most insidious is internalized ageism, when we look down on ourselves, often without realizing it. Blaming age when we can't remember a word ("a senior moment"). Feeling flattered when we're told "You don't look [your age]!" Not considering an interesting activity at the senior center because we "don't want to be around all those old people." It turns out such negative age beliefs can significantly reduce life expectancy. Multiple studies across many years and many cultures have shown that people with negative beliefs about aging die as many as seven and a half years earlier than those with positive age beliefs. (The studies accounted for the influences of income, education, and health status.) Those with negative age beliefs are less likely to engage in healthy behaviors. "If it's all downhill from here, why bother?" Those who are age positive are more proactive about retaining the health they have. People with internalized ageism test higher for C-reactive protein in the blood (a marker of chronic inflammation). Those with a history of age-positive attitudes have lower levels. Also, people with negative age beliefs don't seem to invest as much psychologically in living a gratifying life. Those who are age positive usually have a sense of purpose or meaning. In other research, people briefly shown age-positive messages (e.g., depicting older adults as wise or accomplished) had improved scores in subsequent tests of memory, blood pressure, walking, and balance. Those exposed to negative concepts of aging (e.g., being senile, dependent) had worse memory recall and a heightened stress response afterwards. What can be done to reduce internalized ageism? Other cultures celebrate people who have achieved advanced age. Despite decades of ageist messaging in the United States, we can turn things around within ourselves. Keep an ageism journal. Note each remark you hear that centers on someone's age. Was it positive or negative? If negative, was it based on ageism (a stereotype) or an individual's actual ability? Stay alert to your own ageist thinking. Reframe your self-talk to avoid stereotypes. Identify five things that you enjoy about being older. Acknowledge them. Add more age positivity to your life and start reaping the benefits! Want to work with age-positive professionals? Give us a call at 203-826-9206. Deciding how to divide assets among one's children is often challenging. The challenges only multiply in a step- or blended family situation. Today, about one-quarter of all marriages include stepchildren. Among remarried couples, almost two-thirds involve children from a previous relationship.
Blended families can look like any other family, but the dynamics are very different, emotionally and legally. Traditionally, for a couple with children, when one spouse dies, all the assets of the couple go to the surviving spouse, presumably to help them with living costs and medical and supportive care in their elder years. Upon the death of that spouse, the remaining resources get divided among the children, per the original documents prepared by the couple. In a blended family, there may be two sets of children, or more, and the surviving spouse may be relatively young. Age affects how long children from a first union might have to wait for their share of an inheritance. Tensions can arise if the stepparent remarries. Or if the stepchildren feel the stepparent is overspending assets or not maintaining the house. Plus, nothing in a previously written will can stop a surviving spouse from changing the terms later. Indeed, stepchildren can be written out in an update. Options to consider
These are complicated arrangements with significant tax implications. Be sure to consult with an estate-planning attorney who has experience dealing with step- and blended families. A successful, harmonious transfer of wealth is most likely if you can meet face to face to talk with your heirs about the decisions you have made. You might do this one on one or with everyone together. Or have separate meetings with children from each union. If this does not appeal, consider writing a letter (to be read now or upon your passing) that explains your thoughts and asks for everyone's cooperation and understanding. Are there tensions in your blended family? We can help. Give us a call at 203-826-9206. Are you reflecting on life and its lessons? With so many options for self-publishing, writing a memoir may appeal. The process generates a new perspective on the meaning of one's life. The end result lets future generations learn about you and their forebears. Find writing kits and courses online, such as Writers.com.
One thought to consider: Creating a chronological review can be unwieldy. It suggests you'll present things with accuracy. Besides, recounting dates, locations, and events is just not fun or inspirational! Plus, you may have concerns about offending someone in the way you tell your stories. That can leach the joy out of the project. You may find it more meaningful to tell your story in terms of the lessons you have learned. This is sometimes called an "ethical will." You want to bequeath your wisdom to the next generation. In an ethical will, you tell the stories of how you came to hold the personal values you now cherish. Using this format, think about major challenges or crossroads in your life. When you ran into trouble or things didn't transpire as expected, how did you resolve the situation? What did you learn? For instance, one chapter might be "How I learned the power of forgiveness." Another could be "The time I got fired, or how I learned to value myself." A third might be "When one door shuts, it allows another to open." There's self-discovery in this process. Sharing your transformations and challenges also reveals your humanity. It enables younger family members to understand that everyone can stumble. Sharing how you picked yourself up shines a light forward for them. Consider a kit from FeetToTheFireWriters.com (tagline: You provide the memories. We help you grow). You can include apologies, acknowledging regret and describing what you might have done if you had had the maturity and insight you now possess. You can also express gratitude to specific others, like a thank-you note for what you received. Creating an ethical will is a gift to your family as well as yourself. Noted psychologist Erik Erikson observed that identifying the meaning of one's life is the primary task of the elder. Reflecting on the past within the context of what you have learned can help you get a new perspective on the disparate threads that weave the integrated story of how you became who you are. And don't feel limited to writing. These days you can create collage books, audiobooks, video memoirs, a PowerPoint. You can write a poem or compose a song. Explore the options! As you reflect on the past, consider life plans for your future. Contact the experts in aging well: 203-826-9206 |
AuthorLeslie Alin Tewes is a Geriatric, Disability & Medical Care Manager; Elder and Adult Care Advocate; Quality Improvement Specialist. Archives
January 2025
Categories |